Monday, October 02, 2006

Who Really Deserves the AL MVP

So here's the premise behind this. Everyone wants to argue about who deserves the AL MVP. You can argue for intangibles (Jeter), clutch performances (Ortiz) or effect on team (Morneau), but one thing that you should always look at are the stats.

Now, we know stats can be deceiving, but if you want to make a case to be MVP, you'd better at least consistently be among the league leaders in a few categories.

Now, using that formula, we took 5 players ranks in the 7 major statistical categories and added them up. One could make the case that the one with the lowest number deserves, at least offensively, to be the MVP, as it represents the player who is highest ranked in every category.

Disclaimer: We're writing this because we're bored and have no life. Under no circumstances are we to be confused with actual "experts" or "journalists". If you actually spend the time to offer a serious counter-argument you are likewise a loser and should deal with your social issues as such.

Back of the Pack:

Jeter:

AVG-2, Runs-2, Hits-3, HR-65, RBI-22, OBP-4, SLG-29

Total=127

Hafner:

AVG-17, Runs-14, Hits-59, HR-3, RBI-6, OBP-1, SLG-1

Total =101

Almost, but not Quite:

Ortiz:

AVG-38, Runs-3, Hits-37, HR-1, RBI-1, OBP-6, SLG-2

Total-88

One of These Two:

Morneau:

AVG-7, Runs-19, Hits-7, HR-12, RBI-2, OBP-18, SLG-6

Total-71

Dye:

AVG-12, Runs-10, Hits-23, HR-2, RBI-5, OBP-12, SLG-3

Total-67

Now, although Jeter is last on this list, he arguably stands the best chance to win it all. Part of that can be attributed to his defense, which is well above average. However, when one makes that argument, Jermaine Dye is also an above average outfielder. Likewise, Justin Morneau is as solid of a 1st baseman as there is in the league. Therefore, defense should essentially be a mute point, which should come as a relief to all of the David Ortiz and Travis Hafner apologists. It's not their fault they play in the AL and the DH is a legitimate position.

Possibly the largest contributing factor is location, as someone like Jeter will get a hell of a lot more press than someone like Morneau or Hafner. However, there's no statistical category for "How many times Jeff Brantley verbally felates you on Baseball Tonight", so we really can't figure that one into it statistically.

"But Derek Jeter has intangibles!!!" you'll scream. Well, try as hard as we could, we couldn't remember the last "intangible" Jeter had shown us, since it's been 2 years since he last dove into the stands. Unless by "intangible" you mean "after 2 All-Stars got injured, held together the remaining 5 All-Stars", than yes, we can think of one.

Likewise, some will cry about Ortiz big play ability. Last time we checked, baseball games were 9 innings, and if you can bat approximately .878 with the game on line, you should at least be able to bat better than .280 over the course of a season.

Conclusions:

Jeter is a very solid number 2 hitter who picks up some RBI batting behind Damon but doesn't hit for much power.

Ortiz does one of 2 things, hit a home run or strike out.

Hafner is good, he's not good enough to garner legitimate MVP consideration.

In a perfect world this MVP race would come down to Dye and Morneau.

While we're wishing, we'd like a pony.

Most Likely Outcome:

Jeter
Morneau
Ortiz/Dye
Hafner

Update: In case you're wondering, this was meant to be something funny that we wrote, not a legitimate argument for who deserves the MVP. Unfortunately, individuals who most likely are angered by the fact that we can type in cohesive sentences and actually have the balls to attach our names to what we write are crying about our methodology. Like we said above, this isn't really that serious, and we were just fucking around. Now, if you disagree with what we write, at least be an adult and take credit. Only pussies hide behind the "Anonymous" button...

74 Comments:

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Sooze said...

Thank you for making it all make sense, even though no sense can be made of it.

On that note, go Twins.

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

My brother and I just had this same discussion the other night. It be like having a unicorn win the baseball triple crown as well as the other one.

There is no way the baseball gods will allow all this on one team:
*A come-from-behind division title
*The Batting Champ
*The Cy winner
*Manager of the Year
and
*MVP

It's just not possible. So I say we just go out and win the Series to make us all feel better about these injustices.

Also, "How many times Jeff Brantley verbally felates you on Baseball Tonight"...HA!

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger Joseph P. said...

I'm sorry, but Hafner's numbers are by far the best in the league.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger twins15 said...

I think it speaks to the balance of this year's MVP candidates that my choice would be Joe Mauer, who didn't even make your list. :)

 
At 1:21 PM, Anonymous jason said...

seriously, how can you ignore mauer?! combining his offensive & defensive importance to the twins lineup & their young pitching staff, he's probably the only one who has a legit chance to take it from jeter.

 
At 2:05 PM, Anonymous Brian said...

It's worth noting that David Ortiz struck out only 15 more times (117 in total) than Derek Jeter (102) and that Ortiz also walked 50 more times (119) than Jeter (only 69 walks). That said, Justin Morneau was probably a more valuable part of his lineup than either of the AL East stars.

 
At 2:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a complete idiot. Nice method! Why don't you run that past the Baseball Prospectus guys and let them bid for your services next year.

 
At 2:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is actually similar to (though not exactly the same as) my methodology for determining the MDP - the Most Douchiest Player award. Basically, I take the author of this post and ... go no further, because they are clearly the winner.

Congrats... douche.

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger Monty said...

Man, some people really pissed themselves over this one.

I think your method is practically flawless. I now support Jermaine Dye for MVP, which really means nothing because I pretty much stop following baseball once the Red Sox are eliminated.

 
At 8:25 PM, Anonymous gary zwillinger said...

I think the Red Sox collapse would lead me to vote for Ortiz. I now realize that the Red Sox were really a poorly put together team and it was only an amazing season by Ortiz (and Manny) that kept the facade of their danger alive. I say this at the risk of offending Jeter's parents who are to the 2000's what Harry and Bess Truman were to the late 40's (I don't know what that is but it's something you don't want ot mess with)

 
At 5:35 AM, Blogger Big Blue Monkey said...

Umm, I don't have a real problem with your use of statistics.

I have a problem with leaving the door open for Travis Hafner apologists (historically, a MVP is not a player who takes a Triple AAA quality team to sucky Major League Status).

My main issue is that you used the phrase "mute point" when you should have wanted to say "moot point".

It's not a point that is silent against its will. It's a point that doesn't matter.

Morneau is my MVP, if I had a vote.

 
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