Phil Mickelson is Still an Ass

While we know that the title has absolutely nothing to do with this blog, we live for a chance to bad mouth that fatso...

Anyway, in light of Tiger bringing out the beatin' stick on the rest of the field at Medinah today, we thought we would take the opportunity to compile a list of some of the worst days ever in professional golf.

Scott Hoch, 1989 Masters- Staring down a 2 footer to win the tournament over Nick Faldo on the first playoff hole, Hoch had one of those mental lapses we've all had on the course and missed it. Only, as we previously mentioned, he was putting to win the Masters, whereas we're normally putting to stay below an even 100. And even more unfortunate for Scott, his last name rhymes with "Choke".

Greg Owen, 2006 Bay Hill Invitational- Going into 17, he had a one stroke lead. After Rod Pampling bogeyed the hole, all he had to do was make his 3 footer for par to take a 2 stroke lead. But he missed it... And promptly missed the next one as well. Just like that, he's tied, and loses on the next hole.

Retief Goosen, 2005 US Open- Entering the final round with a 3 stroke lead over Jason Gore, Retief went all drunk-duffer and proceeded to shoot an 11 over 81. Goosen responded by saying "This is nothing serious, nobody has died or anything". While he admire his ability to put things in perpective, we're pretty sure his pride took a few rounds to the skull that day

Phil Mickelson, 2006 US Open- All he needed to do was make a par to win his third straight major. So he proceeded to use the often ignored trash can to tree to bunker to rough route, which, as you can guess, is often ignored for a reason. After a crowd pleasing 6 for Phil, Geoff Olgivy walked away the winner.

On a side note, watching Phil lose it may be the happiest moment of our golf lives. It's not that we dislike FIGJAM, it's that we despise him with an intensity normally reserved for child molestors and former Nazis.

Jean Van De Velde, 1999 British Open- Van De Velde had 2 chances to punch his ball back into the fairway on the 18th hole at Carnoustie in 1999. He tried for the green instead both times and ended up knee deep in the creek before it was all said and done. After limping to a triple bogey, he promptly lost on the first playoff hole, thereby halting the bleeding. We would call it the worst performance ever, were it not for this next one...

Greg Norman, 1996 Masters- Norman had arguably the worst luck of anyone ever in majors. In the '86 Masters Nicklaus tore through the back nine to beat him, then at the US Open that year, Bob Tway holed out a bunker shot to beat him. After all that, Larry Mize chipped in to beat him in a playoff at the Masters the very next year. That being said, his meltdown in the final round of the 1996 Masters is the stuff of legend. This wasn't one of those "oops, I puked on myself on the final hole" kind of things. He spent all day hitting shots into places golf shots shouldn't go. While some may say the Van De Velde choke was worse, we honor Norman becuase he elevated his suckiness for an entire 18 holes, not just one.

Update: I totally botched the Tway reference on this one. It was the PGA, not the Open. I'm not sure why I typed that... I'm not smart... And likewise, I'm not sure why I worte bogey about Mickelson... Once again, I'm not smart....