Monday, June 19, 2006

Off The Tent

In the annals of golf history there have been some wonderful nicknames. Jack "The Golden Bear" Nicklaus, Craig "The Walrus" Stadler, Sam "The King of Swing" Snead, Ernie "The Big Easy" Els, and Byron "Lord Byron" Nelson are a few of the better ones to date. But, that being said, Phil Mickelson may possess the single greatest nickname ever in the history of sports, and we don't mean "Lefty".

A casual acquaintance of "Off The Baggie" was a volunteer at this years Masters, and offered us this tiny tidbit on Phil:

"During the tournament, the other players kept calling him FIGJAM all week, and when I asked what it stood for, one of them told me it stood for 'Fuck I'm Good Just Ask Me.'"

So, after a little research on the topic, it's become obvious that this is how the rest of the players view one of the most popular golfers among fans. We can only assume that in the above picture Geoff Ogilvy is telling him "See FIGJAM, this hole is much easier when you don't hit that tent over there."

After his performance on sunday, however, FIGJAM could stand for "Fairly Idiotic Golfer Just Absolutely Melted".

Maybe his man boobs got in the way of his swing, but when he hit that second shot into the tree on 18, we suspect that a silent cheer went up among PGA professionals everywhere. Johnny Miller summed it up best when he said "Ben Hogan is rolling over in his grave right now".

And 15 minutes earlier Colin Montgomery did his best "Greg Norman at the 96 Masters" impression, thereby putting the two biggest man-racks in golf into a tie for 2nd place. Somewhere, Meatloaf's character from "Fight Club" is crying right now...


At 10:08 AM, Blogger Gustakooka said...

His name is Robert Paulson. His name is Pobert Paulson. His name is...

At 10:12 AM, Blogger paleepalou said...

FIGJAM is good, but I thought his nickname was "Moonpie".

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