Monday, June 12, 2006

10 People From Sports We'd Like To Kick In The Stuff


While watching the Indians-White Sox last night, a stark realization filled casa-de-baggie...

We really hate Joe Morgan. And, apparently, we're not the only ones...

But that made us think, who else do we hate? And not only that, but which people in sports do we dislike with such a fiery passion that we would kick them in that unholy place if given the chance?

So, we came up with this list:

10. Bud Selig- How fucking dumb was that contraction idea, especially when you just happen to ignore the fact that the team you used to own has been one of the worst in baseball over the past decade...

9. Steve Phillips- Let me get this straight, the Mets fire you beacause you suck, yet ESPN expects us to believe everything you have to say about trades and stuff... And who sez ESPN's not smart...

8. Skip Bayless- I'm not sure which is funnnier, the fact that he actually believes what he writes, or that he seems to go to the same plastic surgeon as Jerry Jones...

7. Manny Ramirez- Every time the guy hits a homer and admires it for approximately 16 minutes, I get the sense that Ted Williams' frozen head is shedding a tear...

6. Cindy Brunson- Granted, we can't really kick her in the stuff, but if we hear that stupid home run catchphrase "It's just a little crush" one more time, she's catching one on the ovaries...

5. Steven A. Smith- Would someone please tell this bastard that the little thingy clipped to his tie is a microphone, and, much to his surprise, he doesn't need to yell. And while you're at it, tell him that that stupid show "Quite Frankly" has single handedly set the sports world back 15 years...

4. Curt Schilling- If I ever need advice on how to disassemble a 1978 Chevy Vega, I'm sure this ass would have some to give.

3. A.J. Peirzynski- As good catholics here at "Off The Baggie", a picture of Pope John Paul usually hangs in our home. We say usually because for a few days last month we replaced it with a picture of Michael Barrett...

2. Colin Cowherd- Is anyone noticing an anti-ESPN bias on this list? This guy is so in love with his own voice, he spends 3 hours every day saying the exact same thing. And, to make himself feel better, he only allows callers that agree with him so as to try to seem like he actually knows something. Oh, and that "Spanning the Globe" shit that he just started doing on SportsCenter just proves that he looks as dumb as he sounds...

1. Eric Kuselias- There's plenty of angry rhetoric we could spew about Kuselias, but the guy over at "Words Words Words" seems to sum it up best. But, in gutlessly thrashing Deadspin on your show last week, you angered "The Baggie". Not only have the fine folks at Deadspin given us a little love, but even if they were wrong about the whole Grimsley thing, we'd still take them and a colonoscopy over listening to you anyday...

4 Comments:

At 8:42 PM, Blogger shugs said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Gustakooka said...

Manny Ramirez isn't admiring his homerun. He just doesn't know what to do next. He is a savant; did you want to kick rain man in the stuff?

 
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