The South Dakota Sports Scene

As some of you may may know, we at "Off The Baggie" have not always called the lovely confines of Georgia home. No, in fact, we originally hail from a far off land. A land of cowboys and sunday rodeos, drunken slow pitch softball and 3.2 beer, hot farm girls and county police who drink beer while on duty.

No, this land we speak of is not heaven. It is, in fact, South Dakota, which was we believe was originally settled by german fur traders who got lost on their way to Canada. It doesn't take a genius to realize that "South Dakota" is a German translation of "Hans stop wandering around in only your beaver thong".

What, you may be asking yourself, has South Dakota ever contributed to the world of sports? Well, punch yourself in the face dummy... Seriously.... Do it... Memphis 6th Man Mike Miller comes from this great state, and none other than Adam Vinatieri, the greatest kicker ever, was born and raised in Rapid City and kicked collegiately for our beloved South Dakota State University Jackrabbits...

Anyway, we have once again traveled to the place of our birth, and in the spirit of such great traveling journalists as Kerouac, we are offering this list of sporting events we hope to see as we spend our next 2 weeks visiting the motherland:

Low Rent Country Rodeo- Nothing screams "America Rules" like old drunk cowboys trying to ride a Saddle Bronc with a can of Busch Light is their hands and a Marlboro Red hanging from their lips. These are also the people that brought us the wonderful event known as "Bull Poker"...

9 man Football- This one's impossible since its not football season, but we miss it still. This is like the Arena league if they played on crappy turf 80 yards long with a snow blower pointed into their faces. South Dakota has a mercy rule that states if one team is up my 35 at the half, the game is over...

Dirt Bike Hill Climb- Once again, drunk people are obviously a big part of this event. Imagine trying to ride a motorcyle straight up a 80 degree slope. Add the booze to the equation and its just good clean family fun...

All Night Softball Tournament- These are probably the most fun any man should ever have. Known as "The Night Owl" in my home town, most of us just took it as an opportunity to stay up all night drinking and attempting to sleep with women way out of our league. When I was a junior in high school, I once woke up wearing only my underwear in the middle of a wheat field after one of these...

Independent League Baseball- Sioux Falls South Dakota, home of the Sioux Falls Canaries, arguably the wimpiest named team in organized baseball. We really don't have any jokes for this one, we just love the hell out of minor league baseball...

Golf Tournament Organized by the Local Bar- In case you haven't guessed, alchohol plays a big part in the lives of the citizenry of South Dakota. Combine this with a dusty, flat, local golf course, and you have an event custom made for ESPN2. It's nothing to have at least 3 people get hit by golf balls and another 3 injured in cart related accidents...