Friday, October 06, 2006

Other Childrens Books by Athletes

If you haven't seen/heard about it by now, we have to ask which rock you've been under. T.O. is apparently writing a childrens book. While we admire the effort to steer the always impressionable youth of America in the right direction (Read: They offered him a lot of money), we have to wonder if Mr. Owens is the best person to write such a book. We can only guess that this book will include no references to teamwork, sharing, or putting others above one's self.

However, it appears as though a few other athletes have begun writing books as well, and we have a sneak peak for you.

"Living With Your Own Errors" by Alex Rodriguez- A-Rod takes the children through several scenarios involving how to deal with mistakes that you may make, even if you're in unfamiliar territory. Read along as Little Alex battles his archnemesis D-Rek Jester for the affections of the fans of the Whinerville Nine.

"Electricity and You: That's No Fun" by Mathias Askew- Mathis preaches the dangers of electricity to the kids, reminding them to stay away from exposed wires, downed power lines, and police tasers.

"Always Take Your Vitamins" by Barry Bonds- Little Barry and his sidekick Schmalco help the kids to best decide which vitamins are best for them.

"Potty Training is Fun" by Najeh Davenport- A "Choose Your Own Adventure" story, Najeh leads the children through various scenarios, all of which lead to someone pooping in a hamper

"Never Huff Glue" by Barbaro- You are a horse. You can not write. This will not be written for you

"Little Derek and His Intangibles of Greatness" by John Kruk and Jeff Brantley- Possessing powerful intangibles that are never revealed, Little Derek single handedly solves all violent crimes, cures cancer, and reunites the The BeeGee's over the course of 4 hours on an October tuesday.

"Always Hug Your Friends" by Harold Reynolds- The moral of the story is that hugging is always acceptable, and should always be the way to end a day, or a trip to Outback.


At 1:49 PM, Blogger Mini Me said...

The Reynolds one is the best. haha.

At 11:04 PM, Blogger SD Sports Guy said...

I prefer Curious Barry. The man in the big gray Balco lab told him that drinking the magic flaxseed oil would make him strong. Because Barry was curious he took the magic oil. It made everything bigger except his testicles, and when they shrank Barry was even more curious.

At 2:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Electricity and You: That's No Fun"

-with foreword by Mariano Rivera

At 2:45 PM, Blogger AwfulAnnouncing said...

I thought Joseph Morgan wrote the Jeter Intangibles, but hey there can be multiple authors.

At 5:29 PM, Blogger Satchmo said...

anonymous - ouch.

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