Here is what we believe will happen in the year in sports.
January- Leading 24-10 at halftime of the AFC Championship game, head coach Bill Belichik is occupied thoughout the second half by a group of middle aged, married, female real estate agents sitting in the 3rd row, thereby allowing Peyton Manning to pass for 3 touchdowns to finally down the Patriots.
Febuary- In a game against Phoenix, Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony combine to take an astonishing 72 shots. In the post-game press conference, both acknowledge that they feared they would never get to shoot if they passed the ball to the other
March- David Beckham arrives in LA early, prompting an MLS record 21,000 fans to watch Posh and Becks wait for their luggage at LAX
April- Sergio Garcia finally triumphs in a major, winning at Augusta by 3. This prompts Fuzzy Zoeller to ask if they would have Taco's and Chalupa's at the champions dinner
May- Cubs management announces their pleasure at the latest peformance of Kerry Wood (2 2/3, 1K, 6 ER), calling it his best outing in years. He is immediately placed on the 15 day DL due to "Fatigue".
June- Batting .410, Alex Rodriguez is traded to the Phillies after is it revealed that he once failed to throw a "Wassup" Derek Jeter's way when they crossed paths in the clubhouse
July- Angry at the recent publicity given Tiger Woods and the upcoming birth of his first child, Phil "
FIGJAM" Mickelson announces he has fathered an illegitmate child with the black nanny of a fellow touring pro and that he will carry a pager during every round of golf, even though the child isn't due until January.
August- Despite batting below .250 and leading the league in errors since the A-Rod trade, Derek Jeter is largely held as the early AL MVP front runner, with many writes citing his "Intangibles" as their motivating factor. (This one may actually happen)
September- Tiger Woods wins the innaugural FedEx Cup despite playing the last 4 events wearing an artificial nursing bra. Spectators commented that they just thought Mickelson had been spending too much time in the tanning booth.
October- Mezmerized by his sweet swing, and umpire in Minnesota accidentaly allows Joe Mauer 6 strikes in one at bat during a playoff game against the Red Sox. He later described the batting champ as "Dreamy", to which Tom Brady immediately claimed disrespect.
November- In an effort to secure another BCS game, Boise State runs the "Hook and Ladder" for the entire first half of a game against Oregon State. They run nothing but the "Statue of Liberty" in the second, and still beat OSU by 21.
December- Golfer Phil Mickelson is jailed on simple assault charges after pummeling the writer of a half-assed sports blog for repeatedly calling him FIGJAM
